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Gina Lake's blog
I don’t usually talk or write a lot about Oneness, since so many already do this so brilliantly. But I have a few musings today to offer on this subject just because Oneness has especially been in my awareness recently. I’ve been noticing how beautifully everyone plays their role in this life we are all living out on planet earth. It amazes me how I’m provided with roads, food, the internet, someone to cut my hair and fix my computer, giant trucks to pick up my trash and keep up my city, dogs to keep me company and make me smile, a husband who loves me, information that comes to me from various places. Everything that happens is support for my life and supports other people’s lives too. Isn’t it a miracle that what you and I offer the world also seems to be enough to provide us with this support? We are all contributing and we are all receiving.
We are all moved to contribute, and we are moved by something very mysterious. How is it possible for this immensely complex existence we are part of to function and actually support us? Isn’t this such a miracle! What good fortune to be born into a world that provides for us. Some would argue that it doesn’t do this very well, but truly, isn’t it amazing that it does it to the extent that it does!
Visit Gina Lake's website for free e-books, book excerpts, audios, videos, and a newsletter: http://www.radicalhappiness.com.
Are you willing to play the role the Whole has in Mind for you, no matter how big or small? Are you willing to have the experience you are having? Are you willing to see that the experience you are having serves your evolution and, in turn, the evolution of the Whole? What if you surrendered the struggle of making your life turn out a certain way and really experienced the life you are having right now—not the story about your life, but this moment free of that story?
Are you willing to age the way you are aging? Are you willing to have the amount of money you have in your bank account? Are you willing to move if you have to move or stay if you have to stay? Are you willing to be in a relationship if you are in one or not be in a relationship if you aren't? Are you willing to look the way you look? Are you willing to experience pain if that's what you are experiencing? Are you willing to feel lost or bad or confused or whatever you are feeling? Just for now. All we ever have to do is be willing, just for now, to have whatever experience we are having. When we are, the things that seem like a problem stop feeling like a problem, and we are able to experience the beauty and goodness of life.
What if all the things that were happening that you didn't like were okay with you? What would it take for those things to be okay? Isn't it something inside you that decides they aren't okay? What beliefs keep you from letting those things be okay? Does it do any good to decide that those things are not okay?
Gina Lake is a nondual spiritual teacher who is devoted to helping others awaken and live in the moment through her books, counseling, and intensives. She has a master's degree in counseling psychology and over twenty years experience supporting people in their spiritual growth. Her books include Loving in the Moment, Radical Happiness, Embracing the Now, Anatomy of Desire, Return to Essence, What About Now? Living in the Now, and Getting Free.
When we are identified with the ego, we feel lacking, life feels lacking, and others feel lacking. The state of ego-identification is a state of never having enough, of discontentment, judgment, fear, doubt, and other negative emotions. When we are identified with the ego, the world revolves around "me," "my problems," and "my life." This state is a one of contraction and suffering.
The state of lack that is ego-identification is not only an uncomfortable state, but an unattractive one. When people are deeply identified with the ego, you can see the tension in their faces and bodies. You can hear the suffering in their voice and in what they talk about. Energetically, you can feel the negativity that accompanies this state. When you are around someone who is expressing and living out the ego's negativity, you feel either drained, bored, repulsed, or bad, since their energy is often contagious. Their negative inner state gets reflected outwardly and is felt energetically, and it doesn't attract support or opportunities from others. Naturally, those in such a state want to manifest or attract love, support, opportunities, and other things, but the state of lack and negativity that such people are experiencing actually repels these things. Neediness is not attractive.
Love is the underlying fabric of life, and kindness is its reflection in the world, through us. It can be conveyed in attentiveness to another, in words, or in deeds. One of the most powerful acts of kindness is kindness toward ourselves. That is really where kindness begins. If we are not kind to ourselves, how can we be kind to others? Unless we are also kind to ourselves, kindness shown to others is more of a manipulation, an attempt to get others to give us something or to get them to be kind to us. But unless we are kind to ourselves, we won't be able to receive any kindness others offer us. That place of lack inside of us can't be filled from the outside. We have to be kind to ourselves first.
True kindness comes from a desire to soothe and comfort others because we have discovered the power and blessing that kindness is from having received it. Receiving kindness from others heals us and allows us to express it to others. If we haven't received much kindness from others, we need to find a way to give it to ourselves, to be kind to ourselves even though others haven't been. To do that, we have to do two things: We have to forgive those who weren't kind to us, and we have to see that we are worthy of kindness.
Have you noticed how much your mind thinks about how your life is going? It's always checking to see how things line up with the way it wants your life to look. The funny thing is that life hardly ever measures up with how the story is supposed to go because it's a setup—even when life is good, something isn't good enough. Life doesn't line up with your stories, not because life is bad or you are doing something wrong, but because life will never line up with the stories/desires the ego has, not completely anyway. The egoic mind has desires that are destined to not be fulfilled. Meanwhile, life is fulfilling in all sorts of other ways.
Where would you be without this story about what you want and when you will get it? Does this story make your life go better? Does this story make you happier? How can a story, which comes from the egoic mind, which isn't wise, make your life go better or make you happier? The ego knows nothing about true happiness. Listening to it, only takes us out of real life, which is unfolding beautifully according to a plan we are part of. Life is happening, and it's happening as it needs to. We operate within life as it is unfolding, we act upon it, but we don't control it, nor do we know what is best for us or those around us.