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When Mind tries to self-defend . . .

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mtony502's picture
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As awareness awakens to itself with consistency and familiarity, mind tends to rev up worrying about its own demotion, dismissal, dissolution, destruction and . . . intuitively, instinctually defends itself from these fearsome and imaginary outcomes.

Psychologically and emotionally it may engender fear and dread, denial and distraction. These tactics are meant to distract attention away from awareness and can seem effective . . . temporarily. "That was a silly reaction! (Dismissiveness.) What just happened? (Befuddlement.) That's wrong! (Angry righteousness.) Wow . . . that was strange! (Bemusement.) What's wrong with me? (Anxiety.) I'm going mad! (Fear.) I'm dying! (Dread.) (These questions perpetuate fear and anxiety, stimulating bodymind's primal self-preservation instinct over and over again so that thinking begets more thinking.)

And intellectually, mind may triy to hide from the light of awareness, posing 'spiritual' questions of which it has no genuine interest in pursuing. "What does death of the ego mean? How does one awaken and remain oneself? Must I find a guru to better my chances for enlightenment? What's the preferred meditation practice to ensure awakening? What are the best scriptures to read and study? Who am I? What am I, really, if not this bodymind? Etc, etc, etc.

In each instance Mind pretends it's the Observer empowered to discover what's happening in its Life . . . when in fact Mind is the Observed and Thinking and Worrying and Mental Chatter is what's happening. For Mind, life is remembering, planning, anticipating, doing and being . . . comfortable, uneasy, successful, unsuccessful, appreciated, belittled, healthy, ill, going on vacations, living in a nice home, working at a good-paying job, having a loving girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, family and children.

Awareness has no such concerns or agendas, it simply illuminates "what is", be it material or immaterial, relative or absolute, hidden or revealed. And one such "what is" illuminated is the unreality of thoughts.

To see the unreality of thought, simply watch mind, and not feed it more thoughts. Watch the mind still, watch the mind move. Witness the bodymind's experience of each, stillness and movement. And notice how thoughts evaporate pursuant to their inherent limited shelf lives when not fed more stories. Even the "I" thought dissolves on its own. (However, just because witnessing is simple, doesn't mean seeing is easy.)

What happens after the "I" thought dissolves, temporarily or otherwise, (whether seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years or even a lifetime . . . however labeled, it's always now), needs to be witnessed for oneself (as awakened awareness itself). Once clearly seen, there's no need for mind to self defend. The mind's various narratives are seen as narratives and no longer mistaken for actuality.

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